But before I rabbit on about pyjamas I just want to have a minor tirade about lipsticks that are more than six months old.
Magazines are telling me that I have to turf all my make up that is older than six months.
I have been using this lip crayon on and off for ten years and have yet to be struck by lightning, turned into a bat or burst into flames. It is older than all my nephews and less inclined to have me read it stories.
Now, where was I?
That would be my first fashion rule, but it is not applicable to any ants who might be reading.
May I just add that I took that photo and indeed provided the speck of cheese biscuit that this ant is taking home to share with his roomies.
Seriously, on my top seven list of things you must have - if not a jaw fitted with ball bearings so you can eat things bigger than your head - is a pair of comfortable shoes. Only you can decide whether that means trainers or spindly stilettos or steel capped boots. In my case it means flat black boots you find on ebay:
Whatever your preferred shoe, they should allow you to move gracefully and in full comfort. They should also provide you protection from blizzards and landslides, and allow your feet to support your back adequately so you don't end up at the chiropractor's every week of your last three decades.
And you should also think about owning a piece of jewellery that is so dramatic people stare at it rather than you when they are talking with you. While you provide them information about the photocopier or ants, they are wondering: where on earth did she find a piece of jewellery nearly as big as her head? Are those pink things real? Is it heavy? If I compliment it, will she shut up about the ants?
Sigh. I love this pendant that is in fact a locket. When pressed I answer without a hint of irony that I bought it at a French flea market.
Tomorrow: why everyone should have an archive of pyjamas.
I was abducted by a vast army of chocolate rabbits. Make no mistake: chocolate bunnies are the true threat to our society. Happily, they are not infallible.
After it occurred to me that I could simply eat them and make my escape, I started planning my winter wardrobe and wondering what I might post next.
It probably won't be birds, not even birds with skills in marketing.
I'm thinking skirts, blouses and maybe some boots. And lists! Everywhere I look, someone else is writing a list of the essential things you should have in your wardrobe. Mine, I promise, will be different.
