That's going to need three coats

It takes a special kind of genius to leave the Southern Hemisphere summer and fly to the Northern Hemisphere winter without a coat. I am that genius: I remembered to pack hankies, four different shades of lipstick, six different dresses, two pairs of boots and eight pairs of tights but neglected to take a coat.


I realised my omission when we were flying over New Caledonia. Too late to rush back home and grab the trench I had set aside especially. 


However, San Francisco was sympathetic to me and put on the loveliest spring time weather for our first couple of days. This gave me time to re-group and concoct several reasons as to why I might need to get more than one coat.   


My first coat came from Old Navy. It was marked at fifty dollars but after the myriad of discounts that seem to be routine at American checkouts, it cost $29.40. It is the best $29.40 I have spent - this cotton coat with its big pockets, imposing zip, secure press stud fastenings and sliver of blue floral lining kept me warm, dry and looking a little mysterious for the whole trip. 

What's more, it is featured in this month's Real Simple. I love that magazine and spend an unnecessary amount of energy wishing my life would resemble the clean and uncluttered style that glows from every page. And now, of course. it does.  

 Coats became a bit of an obsession for me. At the J Crew outlet store I came across this lovely peach number and decided that if Scarlett O'Hara was alive today she'd probably want this coat. Or maybe not - frankly it made no difference to how much I liked it. It was marked down from $160 to $80 but again at the counter that amazing discount thing happened and it was mine for $39.00. 

I've included a shot of the interesting vertical pocket where I will be able to stash liquorice allsorts, bus tickets or incubate plovers' eggs. 


Both these wonderful garments are cotton, light weight and feature hoods. I hate carrying umbrellas so the hoods are a very important feature for me. 


The last coat is a trench from Target. It was made in China, perhaps by a gay machinist. The boat on which is shipped over was no doubt manned by some gay people and I'm certain that gay people worked at the loading dock and at the distribution and the trucking companies who helped get this garment in to the store to be sold to the wider community, all of whom invariably have contact with gay people every day and some of whom who are gay themselves. 


So I was  saddened to learn today that US Target funded a political campaign that subscribed to anti-GLBT sentiments. Not cool, Target. You sell great stuff and the staff that helped me in your stores could not have been more respectful or friendly. I hope in the future you'll remember all your staff, customers and the communities in which you operate when you buy into political campaigns. 

It's a great coat. Every time I wear it I'll be making a donation to the one of Sydney's gay charities, as well as sending positive vibes to US Target to re-think their views and value the equality of the hearts and passions of all the millions of people who are connected with their stores. 


And a big kiss and a bunch of lotus to Sydney's Gay and Lesbian community who will celebrate their Mardi Gras party on my birthday. I hope it's perfect for you all! 

Guest post by Kate

Here's a list of things I'd do if I had thumbs: 


*Eat more cat food
*Hang feathers from every square inch of the ceiling
*Take all the sheets from the big cupboard and make resting places all over the house
*Eat all the cheese in the cold box
*Lock the round ears in the bathroom
*Learn to drive.


It sounds like too much hard work, frankly. 


The smaller round ears came home yesterday with a new coat. It doesn't have stripes and there are pockets that still had someone else's tissues in them. 


"Ewww," the smaller round ears said and flicked them in the bin. I smelt them later - the last owner had an allergy to cats which I think is ironic but I'm not sure. 

The bigger round ears came home and said "Oh, just what you need, more clothes." He had on a tie with stripes. Everyone should wear stripes. They make you look important. Both the round ears annoy me but they have thumbs and can open cat food. I dislike the bigger round ears less because he gives me a little piece of steak whenever he has one for dinner. The small round ears tried to give me yoghurt the other day. 


I reserve a special look of contempt for that kind of behaviour. 


The bigger round ears, the tom, is longer too so if I need to sit on someone I choose him, partly because he has more lap but also because it annoys the smaller round ears. Here's a handy hint: if you want a cat to sit on your lap, don't ask it to. This smacks of desperation to a cat and to honest, it embarrasses us a little when you're needy. 


Also, if you don't want us to sit on magazines you're reading, don't read magazines. 


Now, to recap: 

See? Important. Also, ears should be triangles. 

Unimportant. Why no stripes, that's what I want to know.